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It wasn’t love at first Tweet, but the attraction our conversations and Google searching generated caught me off guard. Here’s a word you’ll never read about in the more restrained online love stories – masturbation. Later that day, I woke up to a text message from him.
Being in a relationship requires significant corporeal input – time measured in long touches, kisses, staring at each other across the table, sharing spontaneous ideas while holding hands.I didn’t know then that you can never be “sure.” I remember that I was trembling as I entered my credit card number into online ticketing. He didn’t hesitate to reply, “Go ahead and buy it.” I made a rule that we wouldn’t sleep together unless we were both single by the time I went to meet him. As fate would have it, things fizzled in his open relationship and he was feeling pumped up from the self-esteem boost that comes in being the one to end a relationship, The Dumper as opposed to The Dumped.He wrote a song about the break-up a few days before my flight. “And she'll be monogamous.” I wore rosewater perfume (his favorite scent) on a cross-country flight with a connection in Denver, spritzing myself in various airport bathrooms with a travel-sized bottle in order to keep myself calm. I had flown solo to Portland, Oregon and Portland, Maine, to Madrid and Paris and Amsterdam, Berlin and Dublin.We even had a song – Billie Holiday’s “Easy to Love.” It didn’t matter that we were nowhere near ready to use the loaded L-word.Later in August, I spent the majority of a free Death Cab for Cutie concert sending him text messages coded with meaning.