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They may not take kindly to gatecrashers.“Some people see my photo, and they send me a message saying, ‘Get the hell off this website. Uncertain whether to respond to his entreaty, she sought advice from the Internet forum Babycentre.“Weird? This kind of poaching has been happening at least since the beginning of JDate, the self-proclaimed “premier Jewish singles community online,” that launched more than 15 years ago.

Paul and Tanya Zimmerman met on JDate in the late ’90s. She introduced herself from the get-go as Asian—and Catholic.

“We value family and education.” She has since converted to Judaism.

Sexual or romantic desire for a person of another ethnic background is deeply embedded in race-obsessed American culture, said Jodie Kliman, a psychologist and family therapist at the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology who focuses on the effects of class, race, and culture on family life.

There are sites for practically every religion and ethnicity, and even sites for redheads and men with mustaches.“We broke up, but I wanted to date a Jewish man, so I went to JDate.”Six months after their first date, Tran and Zimmerman got engaged.They have been married for 13 years.“Jewish culture is very similar to Asian culture,” said Tanya, whose last name is now Zimmerman.It may be subconsciously related to power play, based on historical notions of an older man’s dominance or a black woman’s submissiveness.It may be driven by a yearning to have a different life than one’s childhood—to have a lively Jewish family if you grew up with emotionally aloof parents, for example.“We have to look at the extent to which the other is exoticized by the dominant group,” Kliman said.

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