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Meanwhile the perpetrators will refuse to acknowledge that they had done anything wrong.

This is why it’s important to call stealthing – and other, similar violations – rape. If they knew that the condom had somehow come off, they would want penetration to stop. John Oliver famously compared sex to boxing, which is relevant here: Keeping with the metaphor, the entire match depends on both parties agreeing to continue.

Never mind that date rape and marital rape were once considered to not be rape under the law, either.

(Ironically enough, nonconsensual condom removal rape in several countries, including Switzerland and Sweden.) And – of course – the spectre of false rape claims will be raised.

The issue isn’t that the condom came This is the critical difference.

Blogger Mark Bentson of the now-closed i Blast Inside, for example, had an extensive write-up about stealthing primarily for tops who want to trick bottoms into bareback sex.

They will concern-troll that calling it rape will trivialize “real” rape victims.

They will point to people they know who had similar incidents happen and use their apparent lack of trauma as “proof” that this isn’t rape.

Even just not the myths into the light for all to see.

And as we do so, men have to be the ones to lead the way.

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