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Teen boys and girls feel pressure to have sex for different reasons, but engaging in sexual activity is a means of validation for both.

Scott says it’s important to talk with your sons and daughters about dating and what makes for an appropriate romantic relationship—preferably when they’re pre-teens.

“Our research does suggest that young teens with older partners are twice as likely to report these sexual relationships as ’non-voluntary,’ or that they didn’t choose to have sex of their own free will,” she says.

“However, eight out of 10 females reported their sexual relationship with an older male was voluntary.” Scott is quick to point out that even if both partners believe the contact was voluntary, state statutory rape laws are based on the age of the parties involved.

No matter who your teen chooses to date, remember that romantic relationships are a healthy part of adolescence, Scott says.But one bad decision can impact a young man or woman’s future.Kairys suggests parents avoid direct confrontation. Instead, he recommends asking teens about their observations and opinions.“An older dating partner can often be more persuasive when it comes to things like sex or other risky behaviors.There is a world of difference between their cognitive abilities,” he says.

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