But dating is an event that you choose for yourself, not one forced on you like losing a job, death/illness of a loved one, etc.Why would you want to make things harder for yourself deliberately?For myself, I don't agree with those sayings either, but at the same time, I don't agree that doing and living a recovery program of some kind, you know?For me, I started with AA, did a supervised 30 day detox, and a 2 month rehab stay.The biggest one was that you shouldn't date for your first year of sobriety.The way I see it is that you can't stop living life. I know this is only my opinion but I feel pretty strongly about it.
Maybe one person is ready to start dating after 4 months, and another in 5 years, it all depends on the person. Maybe you want to date because you are lonely and feel dating may help you, and maybe even help you stay sober. I just think it is unfair to use an "innocent bystander" (a date) to deal with my feelings of loneliness and stress.
Not dating within the first year is mentioned nowhere in the big book. Keep in mind that most recovering alcoholics are pretty messed up emotionally in early recovery, so whoever you are dating is getting a real an of worms. As a matter of common sense, I would counsel most any alcoholic to not pursue romatic relationships for at least year.
I tend to think you're also shortchanging yourself and not giving yourself time to heal. Likewise, I would strongly advise most any normie to not take up with someone who is less than a few years sober.
Just because you're sober doesn't mean a relative won't pass away in the first year or that you won't lose your job in the first year. Hey Jay, Those sayings may be around AA and whatever, but they did not originate from within AA.
Those sayings and "rules" come from rehabs and detox centers and whatever else, but not from AA.