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Adam tried his best to meet my needs, but he couldn’t fulfill all of my expectations — there was no way he could understand the full scope of pressures exerted by a culture he wasn’t raised in.It wasn’t that our values were so different that we couldn’t talk about them deeply and agree on some guiding principles; it was the constant ache I felt for the familiar.The only thing they could agree on was that we should care for the poor — to do this, though, was another minefield of ideological differences and presuppositions about who was to blame for that poverty. He would scoop me up on his black motorcycle and whisk me to the best restaurants on the island, where we’d discuss our mutual love for travel and the family legacies we both shouldered.All the while, fireworks literally exploded above us.Adam was raised a secular humanist, a "nonreligous lifestance" that deemphasizes the role a God-like entity plays in a person’s life and emphasizes making good personal decisions.His family was so far left and my family so far right, they practically came back around the circle.He was unlike anyone I had dated before — those guys were typically youth pastors or fellow missionaries.

By 27, I had been to over 50 weddings, while Adam had been to one.On our one-year anniversary, my sister called to congratulate us and casually remind us that, on her one-year anniversary, she had gotten engaged.So, while I only loved Adam more and more, I had expectations about what a relationship should be like, the proper timeline for it, and the most important objective: marriage.I was free to retreat back into the world I knew and find solace in overly emotive worship services.But once weeks turned into months, the places I used to go to to find peace became increasingly devoid of any comfort or assurance.

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